The other weekend I took myself out for a quiet lunch at my local Thai restaurant. I don’t mind eating alone, in fact, sometimes I prefer the solitude of food and thought, so imagine my dismay when the hostess sat me right next to the long middle table filled with a collection of families, all with small children.
As it turned out, the children were impeccably behaved and the parents were attentive and respectful of the other diners. All except one.
This dad was a big mouth and a know-it-all, regaling his audience and half the restaurant with his worldly knowledge of everything from campers to tax evasion. Then Father of the Year went on to complain how difficult (and expensive) vacations were now that he had a “princess” (his wife) and kids, and how much easier and fun they’d been before then. And how much more he drank since having kids, and how, even though there were five other non-working adults living in their house, his kids always came crying to him in his office.
I’d like to tell you that I’m too nice a person to wish he would choke on his pad thai, but sadly, that’s not the case. I so wanted to tell him what a total git he was and that he didn’t deserve the beautiful wife and children he had. Oh how I wanted to give him a piece of my mind. But I didn’t. I couldn’t even look at him and fling him one of my best dirty looks. I just kept my eyes to myself and channeled my internal daggers his way.
I understand that parenting is hard work, and I can only imagine the changes that happen in a person’s life when they have children, but this arrogant, ungrateful pipsqueak did not deserve the gifts he’d been given.
It’s Whiny Wednesday, my friends, that glorious day when vitriol and bile are the specials du jour. What’ll you have?
Kate B says
It really pisses me off when parents don’t realize the gifts they have in their children.
My whine has to do with laundry – the husband’s. I used to do all the laundry in the house. I got tired of doing only for him to leave it wherever it was folded and not put it away. Worse, sometime, after it had been sitting folded for sometime (like a month) he would toss it back in the laundry basket. So, he now has to do his own. Unfortunately that seems to mean when he runs out of clean clothes, he just buys new ones. The pile of laundry I picked up last night was about 2 cubic feet. Why oh why can’t he do it on a regular basis, fold it and put it away.
I love your post. I had so many fights with my husband over laundry. One day I bought a huge plastic tub, put it in the laundry room and all his dirty laundry in it, wrote his name on it with a sharpie, and when he got home I told him this is for your laundry and you can wash it whenever you want. I never did his laundry again. For a long time, he looked terrible, all of his clothes were the same color (because he won’t sort) and all were wrinkled and creased (because he wouldn’t fold). Then he caught his reflection in a mirror one day when he was with me and he said, OMG, I look like a slob next to you. I was thinking, yes you do but I’m not doing your laundry. He is better now because he sorts and folds but he still won’t put anything away –he just takes folded clothes out of the basket. One day he complained that he needed more baskets because his was always full and I suggested he instead put… his… clothes… away. He bought more plastic tubs. Sigh. At least he does his laundry now. Can’t imagine how we would fight if we had all the laundry that is associated with children. Yikes.
Esso and I now only do our own individual laundry, because I got fed up re-washing clothes he hadn’t put away after the Fred (one of our cats) decided to sleep in the clean laundry. I figure if he doesn’t care about that and I do, he can do his own damn laundry, and I’ll take care of mine. I would like to know why I always get stuck with the towels and linens, though.
We have 2 bathrooms in our house. I bought hot pink towels for my bathroom and my husband hates them and won’t touch them. He has all the white towels and tries to sneak them in my whites but I pull them out and put them back in his tub. You should try that. But I always wash the sheets too. In 16 years, my husband has never washed a sheet, or purchased a roll of toilet paper, dishwasher or laundry detergent, or any other household product. It’s maddenning.
Kathleen Guthrie Woods says
I am feeling swamped by mommy blogs. I see writing that is cr*p out there, that somehow is legitimized b/c the writer works into her post that she’s a mom. I’m tempted to do an experiment: submit pieces twice, one with a mention that I’m childfree and one with a mention that I have three small children. I won’t do it (b/c I’m a chicken and I fear the backlash from the mommy mafia), but I am entertaining the fantasy.
Wow. That means I have double strikes against me. I blog about not being able to have kids of my own and I’m stepmom. Not exactl desirable demographics, eh? I don’t think Tide will be calling anyday soon!
LOL @Kathleen — now that would be interesting!! Seems like all the big companies are courting mommybloggers these days with free stuff & free trips, etc. Not that I need free diapers or formula (& I’m not sure I would want to plug products in my blog anyway), but yeah, where are the free spa trips & shopping sprees for us?? :p
I am in a whiny mood lately. Aunt Flo has been visiting which I’m sure has a lot to do with it. Lots of stress at work, and at home, my dh is in one of his moods. Our 27th wedding anniversary is next week & I can’t get him to commit to a plan for what we should do to celebrate — every time I bring it up, he’s “too tired to think about it.” So I’m not feeling especially romantic at the moment. :p Hope we both snap out of it. ; )
27 years married???? Wow. You are lucky!!
Yes, I am! : ) (Most days, anyway, lol.)
I agree that it is difficult to be around people who don’t appreciate their children. I know the day in and day out of childcaring is drudgery, I get that. And it’s easy to lose patience and hard to be your best 100% of the time when you are tired and wiped out. But when I see certain people on a regular basis who don’t listen to their children, don’t see the pain on their faces when they constantly hurt them, leave them alone for long periods of time because they want to do their own thing, bring their children out to dinner at 10p.m because they are selfish, fight with their children because they want to control rather than care — I lose all understanding. I have had friends tell me I have a glorified view of motherhood because I can’t have children. Maybe so, or maybe we can appreciate the true gift that it is because we can’t have it.
In a funnier note, a guy came around with leaflets for Vacation Bible School today. For the first time, it was easier to say we didn’t have kids than to explain that we’re atheists.
I love this! Another perk of being childfree!
My whine for the day….I went bathing suit shopping yesterday!! Nuff said! 🙁
My whine today is about hormonal imbalance which typically accompanies infertility; specifically, I’m whining about the symptoms I experience every so often, and which are usually attributed to pregnancy. The culprits: cravings, elevated libido, nausea, fatigue, body temperature changes. It doesn’t matter how often I experience this; every time, I’m very slightly hopeful that the miracle we have been praying for has happened.
Oh infertility, what a cruel unwanted mistress you are.
I hear you, my hormones have made me feel the same way,I have felt the same way with the hope, have felt foolish every time I have wasted money on a home pregnancy test. But I have felt less so over the years and almost don’t feel that way at all anymore. Hang in there.
OMG, me too! I was just about to post these exact words 🙂
I had a similar incident LAST Wednesday with a father berating one of his small children in the grocery store. Long story short, as I walked by he was busy telling his baby mama, 2 other children with them, that “Let them look.They don’t know what he is like. Let them take him home and they will find out.” I would give ANYTHING to take his child home with me, anything in the world to have been blessed as he and his partner. It was so incredibly hard not to ask him if that was a true offer and if so, I could gladly take him up on it.
Lisa, I would have asked to be seated at another table! That guy sounds ghastly. But sadly not uncommon.
I don’t have much of a whine this week. (My husband is a bit of a neat freak, so no laundry woes). Except that I don’t seem to have enough hours in the day to achieve what I want to achieve (or more honestly, to start what I want to start), and I’m not even working very much at the moment. And lately I’ve been really good at exercising (hard) regularly, and the jeans are still tight. Sigh.
My sister asked me to go with her to see the sonogram for her (very young) third pregnancy. I’m all sorts of conflicted about this. I don’t want her pity, but I also want to be supportive of my new niece/nephew.
Don’t go! Your sister may as well have handed you a knife and asked you to stab yourself in the heart in front of her just for fun. Tell her you appreciate the invite but it’s just too painful for you. Please don’t go, it will take you to a bad place and she won’t be there to help you out of it.
I can’t agree with you more Maria….it was very insensitive of the sister to ask you to go. Go treat yourself to something nice that day!!
Thanks for the advice… I’ll try to get out of this one without hurting too many feelings. I appreciate the concern…