Last month I interviewed author Jennie Nash about her new novel, Perfect Red. Before she was known as a fiction writer, Jennie wrote a book about her battle with breast cancer. The Victoria’s Secret Catalog Never Stops Coming is a wonderful book and has been a big success for Jennie, but she doesn’t talk about it much anymore. “I didn’t want to be “Cancer Girl” anymore, she says.
When I meet new people, they usually ask one of two questions: “Do you have kids?” or “What do you do for a living.” Eventually either of these two questions leads to the same awkward conversation about Infertility Girl.
When people ask me what I do for a living, I happily tell them I’m a writer. The next question is always, “Oh, what do you write?” Sometimes, if I’m feeling particularly strong and confident, or if the person feels like an empathetic type, I’ll tell them about my book and this site, and that I write a lot about coming-to-terms with not having children. More often than not, I find myself offering a blurry answer about writing articles for websites, which is also true, but not the whole truth.
It’s not that I’m ashamed of what I do or the subject on which I write. It’s just that I don’t want my childlessness to be the first thing people know about me. I don’t want to become Infertility Girl.
When people ask me what I do for a living, I want to be able to tell them “I’m a novelist.” The only problem with this is that I’ve yet to finish a publishable novel. (And any of you writers out there will probably read between the lines that I have two full and two half manuscripts hidden in a drawer, not yet fit to see the light of day.)
So, a decision has been made. I need to finish my novel. This year. And get it published. Which means something’s got to give.
So, beginning this week, I’ll be posting to the blog only three days a week instead of five. Look out for me on Mondays and Whiny Wednesday on Wednesdays (I wouldn’t dare take that away!) Kathleen’s It Got Me Thinking… column will move to Fridays and there will still be guest bloggers making appearances at various times.
I’ll admit I considered starting a new blog about writing a novel, but even I could see the futility of cutting back on one blog to make time for writing, only to start up another blog! Just know that I’ll be taking notes for the future.
Is Life Without Baby going away? Heck, no. It’s just playing nice and sharing brain space with something new, and giving Infertility Girl the chance be Novel Girl as well.
I’ve always wondered how, even with help from Kathleen & the other writers, you managed to keep posting at the pace you do! (& always such great, though-provoking material!) Good luck & have fun — I am looking forward to seeing what Novel Girl produces! 😉
I am glad to read that you don’t want to be known as Infertility Girl (neither do I!). And I think it’s healthy to want to write about other things and less on this subject. It gives me hope that we all will feel less focused on this part of our lives someday. I am looking forward to that day myself.
I am looking forward to the day that I do not feel the need to write about my infertility. I will know I am healed then.
That’s is great news. The point of this blog is to help people move forward. What better way then to start focusing on some other things you want to achieve. I can’t wait till the day when I don’t view myself as an “infertility girl.”
Lee Cockrum says
Good for you! I am trying to drag myself forward out of the mire I’m in, but writing a novel is not in my skill set! I do have a draft of a guest post submission, should probably work on that!!
I think that’s great. I can barely manage to blog once a week!
I did laugh at the thought of blogging about writing a novel, which would inevitably stop you writing the novel. Mind you – the blog about writing a novel could turn into a novel (a different novel) itself.
This is a great point. Somehow, someway, something’s gotta give and I have to believe my identity is not primarily based around being infertile and what I don’t have. It’s time to move on and get some direction.
Best of luck in all your other endeavors. I am so glad that I can log on and read your posts here, as well as Mali’s, Loribeth’s, Pamela’s, and others!! You have given us a community where we can express ourselves freely, knowing that others reading know exactly where we’re coming from. It takes away a bit of the loneliness and isolation we often feel. At the same time, I don’t think any of us want to be known as “infertility girl”. Not having children of our own might be an aspect of our lifestyle, but it is certainly not who we are. I appreciate all you do and have done to give us this community, but cannot blame you one bit for wanting to post less and give more attention to all the other fascinating things this world has to offer.
Lisa! I have always suspected that you are writing a novel all along, what I didnt know was that you already have 4 manuscripts!! Yayyy happy writing!! Looking forward to buy your novel really soon! (whoops, no pressure here 😀 )
Wendy Wallace says
I totally understand because some days I find it really hard to read posts on the Life Without Baby blog because I wind up crying just about every time. Some days I just don’t want to cry. Some days I just don’t want my focus to be on not being able to have children.