This week it’s Halloween and I know it can a tough time for many of you.
There’s the threat of a constant parade of cute munchkins at your door, the inundation of kid photos on Facebook, and, of course, it marks the start of the holiday season, which is never an easy time if you don’t have children.
So, how are you handling it?
Do you turn out the lights and pretend you’re not home? Do you make alternative plans to be out of the house? Or are you ready to embrace the festivities, just in your own way?
I’m going to be out of town this year, so plan to go out to dinner with Mr. Fab and take Halloween as it comes, if it comes to me at all. If I were home, I’d possibly do the same, but have some treats on hand in case of early callers.
In the past, I’ve hidden with the lights off on those years I wasn’t ready to face it. I’ve also decked out the lawn, bought a cauldron of sweeties, and fully embraced other people’s children (although I’ll admit there was more of the former before I could muster the strength for the latter.)
So, what’s your plan this year? How do you feel about the holiday and what’s your strategy for getting through it?
Halloween has been difficult for me in the past: there were so many things that I looked forward to doing with my littles. We live in the country and do not get trick or treators so that helps some. We’ve also worked to create our own traditions. I make chili and caramel apples every year, we watch Charlie Brown, and this year I’m thinking we might even carve a jack o lantern together. Having our own traditions makes me realize we’re a complete family and takes the focus off of what we’re missing.
Love this answer
This is our first Halloween since my IF diagnosis. I’ve already seen my friends post pics of their kids all over FB. So while I was against the idea last year, we are dressing up our dog for Halloween and will post pics of her dressed up in her lady bug custome. I figure if my friends can be annoying so can I.
Halloween is my favorite holiday. My husband and I usually spend the entire month watching horror movies, and we like to decorate our house to scare the kids that come trick or treating. I have also put my rabbit in a costume and kept him by the front door and the kids love it. It makes me happy — this is the one holiday that doesn’t cause me any pain being around children. Unfortunately, this year my mom is having major surgery on Halloween so I expect to be in the hospital with her, and will miss all the festivities. I just hope everything goes well for her.
I love it! But how in the world do you get your rabbit into a costume and where do you find one that will fit? We have a rabbit and well I doubt she would let us get us into a costume.
He’s a very special rabbit. Loves to be held and kissed and groomed. He will literally let me do anything to him. When he was a baby, he wore an extra small size dog pirate outfit. I guess it’s sized for a chihuahua. He’s a little bigger now and takes a dog size small. Last year he was a bumblebee. When his costume is on, he jumps around like a clown and I guess he likes the attention. His photo is on my community profile if you want to check it out.
oh boy I can not let my husband find out about this ! Shadow and my husband are best friends. Shadow will sit on my husband’s lap and be groomed, lick my husband and just be his pal. I still not sure about the dressing up though.
Kathleen Guthrie Woods says
I thought I was good this year. Halloween was my favorite holiday as a kid (yes, even more than Christmas), and I’ve gotten to the place where I like to go out and watch the cute kids in our neighborhood (our sourpuss neighbors on our street all turn out their lights, so no one comes here). However….just skimmed through Facebook, and it’s overload. I think I’m going to take a FB break this week and spare myself all the jabs that come with each adorable photo. Plus, some adult “friends” have posted photos of themselves in highly inappropriate costumes. Must go wash out my eyes. Peace, everyone.
just because you have one “off day” where you think you need to take a break doesn’t mean you are doing well! Give yourself some credit lady!
We live in a condo complex set back a bit from the street, so we tend not to get kids. I am volunteering with our theatre production of Oliver!, and we have a rehearsal this Thursday, so I’m going to take in some homemade treats.
No complaints about Halloween…. well, except that over the past 15 years, I feel the holiday is in serious decline… at least in the neighborhoods I live in. It seems kids go trick or treating in malls, or have some sort of celebration at schools, or private parties. But, last year I got only one trick or treater, the year before, none. So, I ended up eat the chocolates myself. NOT Good!!
Maybe I’m weird, but I think that is sort of sad. I LOVED to go trick or treating on our street as a child and when we lived in a neighborhood it was a fun way to interact with our neighbors.
Me, too. My neighbor’s little girl was the only one that came by last year. I felt really bad that there weren’t more kids around.
I am taking an American Sign Language class this fall and we have class on Halloween. I really want to go as we are going to be giving out candy and signing to the children that come to our classroom but I am terrified driving on Halloween night.
I actually don’t have too much trouble with Halloween itself — although all the photos on FB, etc., do get to be a bit much sometimes. We don’t do too much decorating, but we always carve a jack o’lantern & set it outside, and I love handing out treats, especially to the little ones.
I did have a bit of a tough time when our next door neighbour’s daughter was little. She is six months younger than our daughter would have been and it was very hard to watch her discovering Halloween & toddle up our front steps, not really knowing what the heck was going on. It was hilarious & heartbreaking all at once. She’s a bored teenager now so I don’t have as much angst over her, lol.
Amy Bonner says
I’m spending Halloween in my therapists office. 😉
In the past I have usually embraced the Halloween fun. But last year on Halloween I was busy going through a miscarriage after my one successful IVF attempt. I have come a long way since last year’s trauma. I have managed to find a lot of peace about living a child-free life. But still, I admit that Halloween will likely be tainted for quite some time.
Something we’ve been enjoying is watching all of the Harry Potter movies together. I made us some butterbeer and “bones” for treats (pretzel sticks with marshmallows on each end dipped in white chocolate … so good!). We’ve avoided any parties, especially ones with children and will likely make it a tradition to go out to eat on Halloween night. I’ve really been trying to embrace celebrating the holidays in whatever way that suits us rather than giving in to social norms or expectations from others. If we have to live in this world just the two of us then I’m going to find every opportunity to ENJOY being just the two of us!
Understandably Halloween would be hard for you! Your idea of making your own traditions is a great one. And I so want to make those “bones” now. Yum!
This is my first Halloween in a new neighborhood, so I have no idea how it will be. We were here last year, but Sandy cancelled Halloween. In general, I don’t have a hard time with Halloween beyond some pangs of wistfulness. Maybe because I never stopped having my own Halloween traditions as an adult, so I feel like I kind of own this holiday as a couple.
The first commenter, Jenny, is so right: having your own traditions makes it easier. Seeing kids of Facebook friends dressed up hasn’t been so bad. I’m finally far enough removed that I can think, “Oh, how cute.” It’s the things that I have absolutely zero part in that are difficult for me, like back to school, proms, pictures of kids with happy grandparents, etc. Those rituals are so alien to me, things I’ll never be able to do. Things like Christmas and Halloween I turn into adult entertainment.
In a way,I’m glad where I live, don’t have kids (majority of neighbors are folks with empty nest syndrome, or young couples without children), so there’ll be no kids knocking at my door.
My plan/goal is to ace three haunted houses in one night (Cobb’s Haunt, Danger Run and the Haunted Hotel), starting at 6pm and hopefully ending by 1am! You have to admit, if there were kids in the picture, most of us couldn’t go get scared shitless in those awesome places! 🙂
Even though holidays can be hard, last year I was surprisingly OK with passing out candy. Maybe it’s because I don’t know the kids? I figured too someone has to pass out the candy, so I’m doing it again this year and actually looking forward to it.