If you’re new to the site, you might wondering what Whiny Wednesday is all about.
A few years ago, some readers commented that they couldn’t express how they felt around friends and colleagues, as they were always made to feel as if they were whining. So, we created Whiny Wednesday as a safe place to vent about about whatever’s on your mind each week. It can be an issue surrounding living without children, or just a general grumble about life, work, family, the world.
I used to start each post with a gripe of my own, but lately I’ve found I’ve covered most of what bothers me, so I put out a call for Whiny Wednesday topics, and you, dear readers, came through! So, each week, I offer one of your suggested topics as a starting point, but as always, any topic is fair game.
So, let’s kick off with this week’s topic:
Parents who respond to hearing that you don’t have children with, “Do you want mine?”
Brandi Lytle says
We are on the same wavelength, Lisa! I am in the midst of series entitled, “Not So Helpful: Things You Shouldn’t Say to the Childless.” I am going to be talking about this “joke” on my blog starting next Wed, 29 Aug.
Today, I talked about the not so helpful “miracle cure.” Here’s the link, if you’d like to have a read – http://notsomommy.com/not-so-helpful-your-miracle-cure/
Analia Toros says
I would like to put a mirror in front of them so they could recognize what they are saying…
I am sorry, I am very emotional this week.
Thankfully I’ve not heard that lame response yet. How sad.
Nita Bourland says
quite a long time ago (I am now retired) I had a friend in my office who would say that to me…plus she would say “you are lucky you dont have children. One day I approached her and I asked her “Why do you say those things to me right after you have disiplined your child?
She looked at me and said “I am sorry I didnt realize I was doing that”
We then became best friends and she would let me take her daughter for many church events, Halloween, Easter and Christmas parties etc.
Brandi Lytle says
Nita, I think this story is amazing. I am impressed that you were brave enough to ask her about why she said those things. Also, I think it is lovely that you became friends and were able to be such a big influence in her daughter’s life.
Just goes to show what can happen when we allow ourselves to be a little vulnerable and communicate openly with others…
My go-to reply to this is, “OK. Let’s go to the lawyer and get the adoption paperwork started.” Then they’re usually like, “oh, well I was just kidding”. Or, if my husband and I don’t like their kids he tells them in a joking manner that he’s sorry, but they’ve already messed up their kids and he only takes them if they’re new. Honestly, it irritates me a lot when people say this…and it makes my blood boil when they say this in front of their kids and the kids hear them. What is this saying to the kids? “I don’t want you, so I’m going to give you away?”
I was thinking about this topic today and I think that maybe next time I’ll just answer in parable, by saying this. A poor man and a millionaire were sitting at a park. The poor man had no money at all and mentioned how hard it was to see everyone else with money while he had none. He then wished he could have money like everyone else…maybe not a ton, but just enough to get by. The millionaire said, “Oh my gosh, I have so much money I don’t know what to do with it all. It can be such a pain to be rich. Do you want to take my money off my hands? You’d be doing me such a favor!” The poor man replied, “Yes! Let’s go to the bank! Even if you don’t give me all your money but just enough to get me by for the month, that’d be great!” The millionaire, shocked that the poor man would actually take him up on his offer responded, “Oh, well, I didn’t really mean it,” and walked away. Then I would ask the person who’s offering me their kids what they think of what the millionaire just did to the poor person and see if they get it.
Kara Love says
The ones that piss me off the most are the ones that say it in front of their kids. What better way to say to a child “I don’t love you, I hate you so much I want to give you away.” than to tell someone they can have my kids right in front of the kids.