It has been a pretty wild year, hasn’t it? I am certainly hoping that 2019 shows some big improvements.
But, before we close out this year, here is your last opportunity to rant this year. It’s an open forum (within reason), so feel free to get things off your chest so we can start fresh next year.
I didn’t appreciate being told by 3 different people yesterday that I couldn’t hold this newborn coming. Especially when I showed no interest in it and wasn’t a baby of anyone I was close to, was my sisters fiance’s family baby. I even got a horrified look from the 3rd person when I said I’m not a baby person and had no interest in the baby.
I can’t even whine under my own name now as one of my so called friends who has absolutely no idea has started following the page since I shared a post of yours.(lesson learned) You know when you almost feel ‘safe’ to say how you feel, well…. I now can’t be me
Feel like my emotions always have to be in hiding. Xx
I think this has been the most difficult Christmas for me, actually it hasn’t felt like Christmas. Since losing my lovely husband shortly after Christmas 2014, I’ve spent the day with my lovely mum. I’m an only child and there’s no one else really.
Last year she was in a care home, and we still had lunch together.
But this year she was admitted to hospital on Christmas afternoon, and she’s been really confused and not recognising me, today she slept most of the day.
I’m afraid I’m going to lose her, the last of my close family, I’m so sad.
Sorry for the depressing post.
Sending you a big, big hug, Lucy. I hope your mom will get better.
Analia Toros says
Lucy, I am praying for you and your mom.
Thinking of you, Lucy. That is terribly hard xo
Analia Toros says
The last of 2018!!
While organizing the Dirty Santa game, someone suggested to spend up to $ 25.00 on a single gift… because we all have kids, right??? …and she even looked at me….
I didn’t want to say anything to ruin the moment but all know I don’t have kids…
May I suggest people to start drinking something for good memory??? Hope I am not rude…
Blessing for a more compassionate 2019.
My husband and I went away on holiday for Christmas for the first time ever (no family, just us). Christmas day, and we’re enjoying a lazy day, dare I say – ENJOYING our childfree status. He calls his family midday and his sister, who we had no idea was even trying or wanted to have kids, announces that she is pregnant over Facetime. My heart dropped. I don’t want to say it ruined our day but we were definitely sad, and it will always cloud memories of this holiday for me. I still cannot wrap my head around why she would choose to announce to us on Christmas day, when she must have known (on some level) that we wouldn’t necessarily accept this news with pure happiness, after 3+ years of trying and one miscarriage, and now trying to adapt to a childfree life. Two days later and I keep playing the moment over and over in my head. I am angry with her for being so apathetic, while meanwhile feeling guilty and knowing “it’s not always about me”. I hope I can get over it, but as my in-laws prod “are you thinking of going away during (her due date)?” I think “God, I am not going to plan my life around my sister in law’s reproductive schedule!!”.
I completely empathize with your feelings of anger and guilt. Husband and I have been trying for a year and a half. Our very good friends, who just got married in August, announced their pregnancy back in November. The baby was definitely a honeymoon baby – possibly even conceived in our guest bed since they stopped for a visit on their way home from honeymooning! The part that hurt the most was finding out via Facebook. Husband was their best man, and he had shared with them our struggles some months prior. I just felt like we “deserved” a phone call. It has been a real struggle to balance emotions.
I am so thankful that I found this group and outlet. I recently had my yearly exam after which I posted a picture of female empowerment and support for both moms and non-moms alike on my private IG in which I discussed the hurt that can be caused by a waiting room full of baby pictures and support information for mothers while there was absolutely no sensitivity or support for those who can’t or chose not to or perhaps have lost a child. My already broken heart was smashed more when a girl I knew from college sent a really nasty message about how my post insulted her profession of OB/GYN. I apologized and tried to clarify my position and why I had the concern, but she is clearly not willing or able to hear me out, and 2 weeks after we last communicated she just sent another nasty message in which she said that I must not have personally gone through infertility based on my post because if I had I would be considering adoption, etc. To say that I am hurt is an understatement. I literally feel like I can’t share my heartache because I will be ridiculed, and by an OB/GYN no less! I am also saddened for all of her patients that may be in my same shoes. I blocked her, but the tears are still flowing on my end. Why am I left feeling like somehow I am wrong? Why isn’t there more support and understanding for people who don’t fit the white picket fence scenario??
I am so sorry to hear this and am shocked, she’s a OB/GYN?! I pity her patients! Do NOT feel that you are wrong – SHE is. and the fact that there isn’t more support and understanding is wrong.
We’re a world built by the loudest people, and bizarrely, the loudest people are usually the ones who have everything going for them, who ALREADY have most (or all) of the power (and this applies to anything and everything…) I think it IS slowly changing… but very slowly…
I hope you are feeling better now and are surrounded by loving and understanding folks (including us ;o) here!) Post MORE empowerment pictures and block those who are not worth a minute of your time!
Jane P (UK) says
So sorry KG for you and for the response you have had – it is so sad that we cannot be supported in our community. You made such a brave attempt in asking for consideration (on behalf of all of us – thank you, you are so brave). My jaw is still on the floor for her comments and total dismissal of how you feel. We totally get it here – you are not wrong, I almost didn’t go to my latest GYN check up because I have to gear up to it and get in such a state. I am so so sorry that your heartbreak is compounded in this way – I too have felt it. Put you first and blocking her is the right thing to do – I hope there are many more people who you have reached though and helped make them stop and think. We must all keep trying to open eyes and certainly do whatever we need to do to protect ourselves. How on earth is asking for support insulting her profession – she is completely out of order.