This topic came up in the community forums last week and it’s one that I see over and over again. As I settle into the New Year, I’m thinking about my upcoming (and some overdue) health check-ups—teeth, eyes, and, of course, the annual visit to my OB/GYN. The latter prompted this week’s Whiny Wednesday topic:
OB/GYN office walls plastered with baby photos
Given that this is so often the first of many stops on the fertility trail, and given that so many of us don’t have children, but wanted them, doesn’t this seem a tad insensitive?
It’s Whiny Wednesday. What’s under your skin this week?
Analia Toros says
Lack of compassion is under my skin…
I got asked why I was so sad every time I went to one clinic. The OB/GYN was actually in the maternity ward. So whilst waiting I was surrounded by heavily pregnant women and the joy and happiness of new pregnancies. Ironically I had gone there because I knew my husband had issues and we knew that a top IVF doctor worked out of that clinic.
At the time I was waiting on the final verdict, which turned out to be early menopause, with only one follicle. My hopes were destroyed in that place and the lack of compassion shown was shocking. I was 35 and newly married……. I have now changed clinics and have a fabulous doctor who is doing a lot of research into people like me. But I still find that the attitude is ‘accept it’ and nobody really understands. I do think though, how lucky am I that both my husband and I are unable to have children. At least there is no blame and we both know how it feels. My heart breaks for those who do not have this particular kind of support.
Because of this blog, I do not suffer at the ob/ gynoffice. Years I went and seeing the pregnant women was sheer torture especially in the throws of infertility and the height of I have to have a baby. I read on this blog, to go to GYN only.it was like a revelation,I never thought of it . I have the best GYN she rocks! And of course due to allergies, hysterectomy and a lot of other women’s issues at times I have to see her more tha. Regularly, but she really has an interest in women’s health. She diagnosed some of my issues first office visit, I had seen another Ob/ Gynfor years and he misdiagnosed my issues and I was taking medicine I did not creed for 13 years. She has been so helpful to me. I am grateful to this blog for making such a wonderful suggestion. Now even though going at times could be a trigger depending on where I am at, I don’t see any pregnant women , what peace of mind for me. Hugs to all.
Lisa Manterfield says
I’m so pleased to hear this. If I recall, it was another reader who suggested finding a GYN only. Such a simple solution. Glad it worked for you. This is why we keep talking to one another about this and finding new ways to deal with the tough stuff.
Whats under my skin?
Im at work in the bathroom having a cry. I cant stand this. I should not be hiding in the bathroom wiping my eyes with toilet paper. Some days are harder than other and today is one of those painful days where the tears come so easily
Now to try n pull myself together
Well this is more of a “Moany-Monday”, but it feels good to get it off of my chest. I had recently experienced this very thing, only to then receive a very nasty message from a college friend who has become an Ob/Gyn when I posted on my private IG about the insensitivity that I have noticed. I was really caught off guard this year by my 35th birthday and my feelings about motherhood. I have never had a strong desire to physically produce a child of my own, but out of nowhere these emotions boiled up. I am not in a place to have children the traditional way seeing as I am single, and I am terrified of the risks of hormone therapy to undergo egg freezing. I tried to discuss my concerns with my Ob/Gyn, but was told that she would recommend that I speak with a fertility specialist- but I don’t know the fertility specialist- I wanted to speak with someone that I have at least seen for a couple years now. I felt very brushed aside and I would say that this is how I feel in general- it is as if I am invisible to my extended family, friends, co-workers, strangers, etc because I don’t have kids- like somehow my life is not as valuable, and my opinions and concerns do not matter. I have sought counseling to help work through these concerns, and I think that I, too, am going to try to find a Gyn only provider. The in-your-face reminders at the Ob/Gyn’s office are too hurtful right now.