If you’re new to the site, you might wondering what Whiny Wednesday is all about.
A few years ago, some readers commented that they couldn’t express how they felt around friends and colleagues, as they were always made to feel as if they were whining. So, we created Whiny Wednesday as a safe place to vent about about whatever’s on your mind each week. It can be an issue surrounding living without children, or just a general grumble about life, work, family, the world.
I used to start each post with a gripe of my own, but lately I’ve found I’ve covered most of what bothers me, so I put out a call for Whiny Wednesday topics, and you, dear readers, came through! So, each week, I offer one of your suggested topics as a starting point, but as always, any topic is fair game.
So, let’s kick off with this week’s topic:
Parents who respond to hearing that you don’t have children with, “Do you want mine?”
Kara Love says
When they offer me the “bad” one I say no, point to the “good” kid, and say, I’ll take that one.
When parents offer me the kids and I respond: yes !! and they look at me like…..”she is crazy”.
What polite, civilized response can swiftly and simply let them know how small minded, uninformed and self-focused they are for thinking that was an acceptable comment to women in our situation? Would love some ideas-
I’m not sure if this would be polite and/or swift, since I’ve never actually said these out loud. I typically try not to smirk and just cock my head like I didn’t hear them, and say nothing or look away. But here goes…
Do you ask people this a lot?
Sounds like a you need some time away. I noticed that your (family member on social media) seems to enjoy being with your kid(s). I bet they’d love a date with them!
No. Like you, I dreamed of having kids of my own.
Huh, this is sort of fun to consider responses! Thanks for the afternoon think!
caron best says
I sooooooooooo hate this comment…..it pushes me over the edge especially when it is coupled with suggestion that I am sooooooooooo lucky to have so much free time……this happened to me recently took all my resolve not to answer what’s the point
In a similar vein…
As my friend was getting upset with her kid not wanting to eat, she looked at me and told me: is this really what you want?
I was so shocked and didn’t even answer.
She then apologized to him for being upset. Didn’t add anything to me.
Nita Bourland says
Funny I have heard this comment over and over when they are raising their children and disorderly behavior occures, not one has followed through. I often think how the poor child feels if they over hear the parent saying this. but what amazes me is not one Grandparent has told me this…
Emily Morrison says
This is definitely on my list of things not to say to a person with infertility. The worst occurence I had of it was when I was teaching. A coworker was upset with me because I had been down lately and she took it personally. I explained that I was down due to my infertility struggles, but she just didn’t get it and was of very little comfort. To top it all off, she ended the whole thing by saying, “Well at least you’ll never have a kid like HIM (points to one of my students who is a little more challenging who she has clearly shown she hates for some reason). I was livid, and it must have shown on my face because she said, “Oh come on, smile, it was a joke!” I forced a very weak smile just to get out of the terrible conversation, but I could not believe her heartless, mean spirited “humor.”
I absolutely HATE that comment, and unfortunately hear it a lot. It’s a shock each time. My friends with kids constantly think my life is just grand. Free time galore, Able to travel when ever, Only responsible for my self (that statement hurts), Sleep Sleep Sleep. They never seem to realize the sting of what they are saying.
I would answer “Yes, when they finish college, I would adopt your kids”